I have come to Family Constellations via a decade of following Dr Gabor Mate, who developed the therapeutic approach, Compassionate Inquiry with Sat Dharam Kaur ND. I have spent many hours reading his books, watching and listening to him in a variety of settings, including a multi day Zoom event in 2020, and the film The Healing Power of Trauma and its adjacent package of podcasts with a range of professionals in related fields. Together, these have radically changed my life and my view of therapy and the world. Important note: I am not a trained CI practitioner, but an attentive follower.

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My personal experience of Compassionate Inquiry as therapy was with New Zealand's first certified Compassionate Inquiry practitioner, mentor and facilitator, Dr Luke Sniewski. In that therapy I was able to meet and release some of my truly difficult and scary stuff. While doing so, I was also able to observe that each session was a masterclass in that client lead therapeutic approach. Forever grateful! Following my therapy sessions with Dr Sniewski, I joined his 12 week somatic experiencing course in 2023, for a challenging dive into body awareness, conscious discomfort, relationships, vulnerability, adaptability, stillness, radical self acceptance, and personal responsibility.

In preceding decades I engaged in therapies which mostly dealt with the branches; the waving flailing part, but not the roots of my distress and trauma. I didn’t even know the trauma existed, and only dimly knew my messiness. I experienced talk therapy, Gestalt, Rebirthing (now known as Conscious Connected Breathing), co-counselling, as well as savouring a variety of life experiences such as feminist circles of connection, analysis and rage, and adult life long interest in health, mental health and their social determinants. All of these experiences contribute to who I am, and how I approach and relate to others, privately, creatively, and professionally.

Along the way I was twice married, and have the incomparable joy of two children and three grandchildren.

My work life* has been an interesting meandering trip. See more on the Training and Experience page.

The second feminist wave coincided with my young adulthood, marriage #1 and the whirl of activism, child rearing, and development of deep sustaining friendships with other women. A decade ago I began making art. That is a passion, a pleasure, and one of my important regulating activities. www.solekart.com

The link between Compassionate Inquiry and Family Constellations is important to me, and my professional direction. The two approaches are congruent. Both intrinsically recognise and work with trauma and intergenerational trauma. Both approaches rely on the body to tell how and where we feel pain. Consider the innate or intuitive wisdom that gave us ageless expressions, such as:

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I've got a gut feeling

I'm heart broken

I have a feeling in my bones

I've got butterflies in my stomach

It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up

It just feels creepy.

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All have their roots in reality, and natural wisdom. We should pay close and loving attention to the signals our body sends us. They are the real deal.

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In fact, you probably tuned into one deriving from a relational issue long before you arrived here. Family Constellations is a modality that calls up our innate wisdom and intuition, within the safety of the configuration set up with the participant/client, guided by the facilitator. The client chooses representatives from the circle, positions them in the field or work space according to their sense of their family. Then they observe the constellation as it processes, with continuing support from the facilitator. one on one sessions may include the use of symbolic figures or objects, or meditation or drawing.

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I have spent a long time learning, investigating, integrating, making links, and here I am, totally committed to doing the work that my life seems to have poured me into. I am so excited about facilitating groups and one to one constellations, online and face to face.