Coaching cart and therapy horse. How does that work?
- Karen Sole
- Mar 18
- 4 min read
Clear old patterns, relational issues and manage anxieties first to optimise benefits of coaching. Find out what's holding you back, then develop goals out of renewed self awareness and confidence.
Adjacent to manawa family constellations, but entirely distinct from it, is Manawa Life Coaching. It’s built on my experience in:
formal and informal mentoring and coaching successes in large organisations,
writing and facilitating training workshops in and for a range of organisations,
using accelerated learning methods as a CELTA qualified teacher of English to foreign adults,
internalisation of the power and meaning of social determinants,
human rights activism, and of course,
my own general life experiences.
Let me elaborate on the power and meaning of social determinants. This refers to recognition that our problems derive from the system, and are widespread - poor wages, unaffordable housing, food scarcity, unhappy health outcomes, unemployment, misogyny. These are systemic issues, not factors that can be blamed on individuals. When we see that, at least some the burden is lifted. Similarly, constellations therapy sees multiple generations - our ancestors caught in the macro political and social mechanics of their time, accumulating trauma that tumbles down lineages. These traumas express themselves in our lives, our relational patterns, our anxieties, our fixations, foibles and fears. These are literally stored in our bodies. Constellations work somatically, largely beyond language, allowing us to access the hidden wounds and reveal secrets, all the unthought known. Constellations work with compassion, with the clear boundary of doing no harm, in a process led by the ‘client’ for want of a better word, and in groups, with the voluntary participation of representatives of members of your system or constellation.
In life coaching my interest is in enabling and empowering men and women of all ages to transform doubts, transient wishes and hopes into strong intentions, and work with them to develop conscious, realistic steps towards achieving the goals they develop. I convene in-person workshops for 8 - 12 participants as well as working one to one, in person or over Zoom. In all cases resources, useful links, online check-ins and other means of follow up are part of the process.
Bring your story, bring your learning style, bring your gifts. Bring all of you, and go away with more.
I use some video and audio content, but my workshops are distinctly analog in character.
The work is relational, cognisant of the knowledge and wisdom in the room, whether it’s just you and me (or online), or a group, and
mixes my input with vibrant small group work and
quiet alone working time for participants to reflect, integrate and synthesise content,
settle with realisations and
to provide space for individual creativity.
My coaching methods promote and uphold personal autonomy and power as the foundation of authentic change.
Learning happens when
we are interested in content and process,
motivated,
autonomous,
can be ourselves and have support along the way.
Working face to face with others - not a screen - sharing ideas, considering other viewpoints and bringing that together in our own reflective thinking and writing brings clarity and focus.
That enhances the likelihood of making the bold steps toward our goals, with the support of other participants and the coach after the workshop. Accessible memory of the interaction helps to maintain motivation, and the expectation of ongoing sharing to others over a period of time adds safety and security to the plans we make.
It is easy to create an exciting high around ideas, in a roomful of people, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and the eating takes place after the workshop. The danger after a high experience is always that enthusiasm wanes, no one is checking in, and the energy falls away. When there is a process that includes peer and coach follow up, the twin goals of making progress and sharing the ups and downs with others helps to keep us on track.
The first essential for personal change is our readiness and willingness, not just to engage with ideas, but to do the work. My mother-in-law, Margot used to say brilliance is 5% inspiration and 95% perspiration. More famous people have given us similar sayings, for example this from Picasso, paraphrased here - genius happens, but it has to find you working. My personal mantras which apply to my art life and anywhere else, are don’t stop, don’t hurry and don’t be afraid. Sometimes we hurry because we must, sometimes we’re afraid, but always we must take the next step.
Important note: coaching is neither psychotherapy nor psychiatry. It is suitable for the normal range of well people who want to explore ways to enhance aspects of their lives, make some specific adjustments, refine goals, develop steps toward achieving them, or similar, or to use a session or workshop to calibrate or monitor their lives in any sphere.
Working together, we can tailor a package to suit your precise needs, with one or more constellation sessions, followed by a coaching programme that fully recognises your busy life: children, partner, friends, family, work, exercise, existing holiday plans, and so on, so that the timeframe is realistic, the work and process is doable, bound for achievement and finishing. Zoom check-ins between face to face sessions are built in to the coaching programme. To book a free 15 minute call to discuss your requirements, send me an email karensole@manawafamilyconstellations.com, or leave a note on my website manawafamilyconstellations.com at ‘Contact us’. I look forward to hearing from you.
Copyright Karen Sole 2024
Karen Sole is a member of the International Institute for Complementary Therapists, and of the International Systemic Constellations Association (isca-network.org), and a former member of ANZCI, the Aotearoa New Zealand Constellation Incorporated. She took her first training from Yildiz Sethi yildizsethi.com of familyconstellations.com.au. Karen’s profile can be found on the above organisational sites. She participates in monthly professional supervision, facilitator member constellations of ANZCI, ISCA, and informal international groups of experienced credentialed facilitators. From 01 October 2025 to 30 September 2026 she is a member of CI Connect, ‘a safe space to connect to self and others through compassionate sexf-inquiryand the exploration of our shared humanity in today’s world’ with Dr Gabor Mate and Sat Dharam Kaur ND and CI Facilitators.
She has extensive experience of training, coaching, mentoring, and leadership in a wide range of professional and community roles, from government departments, through NGOs to High School Boards, including writing/designing training for management, stakeholders and community. www.manawafamlyconstellations.com
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