Another Self. Another Story. Meet Mr Zaman!
- Karen Sole
- May 6
- 5 min read
Wrapped in a story of friendship - three women and their somewhat chaotic lives with lovers and mothers and others, we find a Constellation practitioner working in an idyllic Turkish setting.
If you have spent time in Turkey, loved the place, the people and the food, you probably loved, or would love the Netflix series, Another Self. If you had no idea or had never heard the words family constellation before then or now, Mr Zaman was a Constellation facilitator.
The dreamy Netflix series is a drama about three friends who find Mr Zaman in a sun drenched, turquoise water adjacent location. The town is all old stone buildings with heat oozing out of the stones into the evening air as the protagonists hit the restaurant set between the walls. It’s all swoon worthy. To die for. Or at least to go to some time before you die. I can pretty much tick that one off.
My time in Turkey was spent near that Aegean coast, a little south of Ayvalik, a half hour dolmus ride from planet Izmir, and a slightly shorter ride to Sigacik. Sigacik is a thousands of years old fishing village. When I was living nearby it was a smattering of streets, an off street cluster of tourist-centric shops, some large seafood cafes, the ruins of an Ottoman castle, and oddly, a taxi stand, I suppose for tourists who miss the last dolmus or don’t want to ride in one. Getty photos are expensive and my own are trapped inside a dead computer under my bed, but think slow, dusty, warm, net-strewn boats tied up at the wharf, tea shops, and on the way from the main road connecting Istanbul to Dalyan and beyond, pop up gozleme and fruit stalls on the side of the road, and a swim rewarding you for the journey at Akkum, a little further on, up and over the hill.
The rest of the world may just as well not exist. Life begins each day with the tingling sound of the sheep bells coming down the hill, and if we were in sync, a glass of tea with the shepherd at our garden wall, before the wandering flock drag him off and away. During the day, he moves his typical orange scarf from a folded triangle worn over his shoulders, and on top of his ancient sports jacket, to drape over his head, and eventually to tie it up on his head, as the heat beat down on him and the sheep, the flock grazing from place to place throughout the day.
Bulent on our terrace at Seferihisar, Turkiye
At weekends we ate sumptuous breakfasts with our neighbours, Fatma and Bahadir, and their small son, Arda. Eggs, bagels, chillis, olives, cucumber, tomatoes, parsley, rocket, lettuce, halva, jam, honey, and many glasses of tea from the caydanlik (teapot over a kettle of boiling water), then met again for dinner, sharing everything from our food stores and hearts. At some point Bahadir would go inside, come back with his oud, clear his throat and begin the evening’s music with a classic Turkish song, as other neighbours joined us on the terrace. Later, Bulent would put on a CD, for everyone to dance to - The Cranberries, through to time-to-sit-again and really listen Marcus Miller. Neighbours started drifting away to their own houses after watermelon and feta and more tea, or maybe some icey raki. By then the air is navy blue and crackling with energy, still too hot to sleep in. The tinkle of spoons against teaglasses continues in the neighbourhood as we take our dishes inside, and for a long time after.
Someone had their tongue slightly in cheek when creating names for the characters in Another Self. Mr Zaman = Mr Time, and Ada Korkmaz - you just won't believe it, is Island Never-afraid, and guess what - she is a surgeon dedicated to her profession and science, who cannot feel, or cannot face her feelings or her life events. Until...
Although the essence of systemic constellations is well represented in the series, there are some aspects 'we' i.e. facilitators trained by Yildiz Sethi (and others) do differently. For example, for us the client approaches the person they want to Represent, asks if they 'would be so kind as to represent my mother/father (just for example)?’ There is right of refusal and no threat of being asked to leave the circle if the person approached does not want to Represent. Every level of participation is voluntary.
In Episode 4 of the first series the reason for the Turkish title, Zeytin Agaci/Olive Tree is revealed. Zaman takes Ada Korkmaz on a bike ride from the village to his olive grove, where he tends to a sickening tree. Here he expounds to the aggressively sceptical Doctor Korkmaz, the metaphor of deep and old roots and the state of the above ground tree as equivalent to human life and familial systems. Despite her exultant skepticism, she closes her hand around the small green olive placed there - in magnificent slow close up - by Zaman. We also see her estranged husband, Selim, who has turned up to 'take her home', thrashing against the revelations of a Constellation formed for him in Zaman's circle. The childhood trauma of an earthquake in which his mother dies, is shown to be the root of his adult relationship rigidity, and his huge expectations of his wife, the lovely Ada - but he's not having it... yet.
One of the advantages of film is that events can be shown in flashback, positing them as simultaneous with the Constellation client’s thoughts/feelings/recognition of the significant moments in the distant past. In that way, if you have never experienced a constellation, as client, Representative or in the circle, you get a look into the being of another, potentially the catalyst for their behaviour patterns, repeating relationship shitstorms, familial dissonance, and any of the other interruptions and blockages we remain loyal to, through all our vicissitudes.
I loved the series: the family constellations at its core; the funny, messy, normal characters and the loving friendship of the central three women characters; the stunning scenery and buildings, hearing Turkish, the memories that it stirred in me. I recommend it - see what curiosity comes to you as you see the trauma and resilience of the characters!
copyright Karen Sole
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Karen Sole is a member of the International Institute for Complementary Therapists, and of the International Systemic Constellations Association (isca-network.org), and a member of ANZCI, the Aotearoa New Zealand Constellation Incorporated. She took her first training from Yildiz Sethi yildizsethi.com of familyconstellations.com.au. Karen's profile can be found on the above organisational sites. She participates in monthly professional supervision, facilitator member constellations of ANZCI, ISCA, and informal international groups of experienced credentialed facilitators.
This is a revised, longer version of a previous blog.
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